Snakes on a Plane

I am in the middle of a trip out East and was flying the arrival in to Newark. It was a rare incident where I actually have no beef with the airline this time: Delta. This time it is with the humanity of passengers I traveled with.

We all know that the human race is generally reduced to mere animal form while traveling. Instead of being the sane mammal we are destined to be, we somehow revert to most inane of species when the element of travel is in our path. The inevitable panic jumps in. We ask ridiculous questions and make even stupider choices based on the answers we get. We might as well evolve from the lemmings family.

It began when the flight was delayed a slight bit at the gate. Why bother to ask if the plane is late when you can see their is nothing outside the gate on the tarmac??? And then I was surrounded by ninnies. No idea what was going on with the business passenger behind me in his seat - either it was a wild sex romp at my back or a horrible nightmare with tossing and turning! And then a nervous Asian exchange student across from me who had the unusual habit of whistling to her iPod. Not a slight hum to the melody - but a bizarre whistle that carried throughout the whole plane. And worst of all was the neurotic New Jersey guy behind me that was sharing his life history as if he was on the Actors Studio. I learned about his stint in rehab, how his GF is a terrible cook and he is great at Italian meals like ziti, how he auditioned for some hot new film with Andy Garcia and how fabulous he was in a community production of Brighton Beach..... On and on. And he was fueled in this by the giggly woman next to him. Too many cocktails or a mad cougar crush. Dreadful 3 hours without a parachute!