Oscars tote bag

We always hear about the fabulous perks of being an Oscar nominee... How it establishes clout and preference for future work, access to A list parties.... But also the ridiculous gift bag that is given to the stars. I just read this article which took it to the point of being ridiculous.

We all (or should) realize that it is a shameless plug for products. I have gotten them on a much smaller scale for the Ivey's here in town. Usually a tube of Chapstick or a coupon for Chipotle; often some female beauty products. But I had no idea how excessive they are for the Oscars. So much that they became a tax liability in 2006 because the goods were an asset big enough to be declared on tax returns. At that point they were abolished... Or maybe not.

Now they are officially given out as a perk by a company called Distinctive Assets, but I am guessing there are certainly some advantages between both parties in the arrangement. This years' net worth is $200,000 per bag and supposedly the Motion Picture Academy is filing a lawsuit against the company to make sure the arrangement is non binding. The quote from the filing states "it (the gift bag) is also likely to dilute the distinctiveness of the Academy’s famous trademarks and tarnish their goodwill.”

So what exactly is in this bag? There is the said Chapstick ($6) and personal items like Dandi Patch anti-perspirant ($25) & Purely Inspired Organic Protein. ($25) Then it gets a bit more exclusive with items like Signature Vodka ($70) (must be an awful big bottle), 10 Personal Training Sessions with Alex Seltzsky ($900) (no idea who he is, but he must be great for that price) or Personalized M&M's. ($300) (I can steer you to a website that gets them much cheaper) But no - this is only the tip of incredulous excess. How about Joseph's Toilet Paper ($275) - you can wipe your ass on black velvet for cheaper! A 10,000 meal donation to an Organization of your choice ($6300) - but wouldn't it make just as much sense to coordinate through your own PR person? From there it gets ridiculous with travel all over the globe; 10 days to Israel ($55,000) 15 days in Japan ($54,000), 3 days in San Marcos ($4800), 3 days in Lake Como Italy ($5000). Really?! How many days do they have in a year that I don't? And then the real crux of conversation - Nuelle Fiera female Arouser ($250)???? Vampire Breast Lift ($1900) 740 Park Plastic Surgery ($5530) This is so far removed from the life we lead and yet we still idolize this fantasy. No wonder the Academy is trying distance itself from the insanity. Over $200,000 worth of absolute drivel. Give me the Chiptole and Jamba Juice $2 voucher and I am fine.

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