Drum Corps Staff "quotes"

A new link I found is on Facebook and it is a sampling of notorious staff quotes old and new. Anyone who marched knows how brutal and direct they can be. And to make it even worse - they are usually shouted out via a "Lone Ranger" megaphone so that the whole football field can watch you crumble. Here is a sampling:

As the season gears up - I am all ears for anything coming from the vaults or moles who are eyeing the completed products of our corps as the leak out.

Guys, when we play rolls that bad, it sounds like Hellen Keller in a wool sack, covered in bees, falling down stairs covered in grape jelly

Tubas, you're playing whole notes the whole show. Why does that one sound like you're raping a walrus?

Snare tech: "Yo, your left hand is like an 8 year old's first boner... It has so much potential, but right now it's out of control!"

Hornline... you are all tempo terrorists and George Bush is gonna bomb ALL your asses off the field!

Tubas, run back to your set. It's your own fault you decided to carry a volkswagen in drum corps

You don't mark time with your legs apart unless you're taking a shit while marching, got it? I've done that, don't do it.

Guard, you make me want to kill your parents!
*families that came to watch start walking slowly away*

I am going to march naked, and in front of you, during your entire show so you don't stop looking at the drum major damnit!!!

It's not supposed to be easy... if this was easy it would be called fucking marching band!